Full Version: BEST PIECES OF ADVICE FROM HOMER SIMPSON
got this from my bestfriend asheen..
| QUOTE |
| > Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love! > Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand. > You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons. > When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! > Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda. > Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. > I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. > Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use. > How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? > Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. |